Discouragement vs Retreat

There is a proverb in Thailand says “ท้อได้แต่อย่าถอย” (tor-dai-tae-ya-thoy) which means “It’s fine to be discouraged but never retreat”. It is one of the encouragement/life philosophy sayings popular amongst lower-class workers. It’s a comparison between the “discouragement”—the loss of motivation, driving force, or goal—and the “retreat”—giving up, turn back, step backwards. The point I want to draw the attention to is whether it’s better to be discouraged but not retreat or, vice versa, to retreat but not be discouraged.

If we look at the proverb “discouraged but never retreat” lightly, it’s indeed a good teaching. It means that we have to keep moving forward no matter what, no matter how hard or how tire it would be. Indeed such a perseverance and commitment are the necessary ingredients for success. As children, we were all taught that the success comes after the perseverance, that it is one of the most valuable things.

When we look at it more closely, however, the “discouraged but never retreat” implies that it is less damaging to be discouraged than to retreat, that we must keep pushing forward despite no clear goal in mind. In the end, this might lead to people working without passion. The situation is no different from a battalion of demoralised soldiers that keeps on marching forward. These soldiers would be praised as heroes indeed, but this might not be the best outcome from the strategic point-of-view.

If we reverse this proverb the other way around, “retreat but never be discouraged” gives out a completely different meaning. This new proverb says that, from time to time, it’s fine to give up, accept the truth, and step back, as long as we don’t get discouraged and lose our determination. The stepping back might stop our progress for a short time, but as long as we don’t lose the determination, we will return to do it again and again. The retreat even gives us a chance to assess the situation from a fresh viewpoint, allows us to be better prepared for the next try. It likes a general who orders a strategic retreat order on a losing battle, in order to regroup and replan to claim a victory in the next battle. To lose a battle but win the war, as the saying goes.

There are many examples following the “discouraged but never retreat” proverb from various disciplines. There are stories of people who fought the hardship, kept fighting until they became successful. There are romantic stories about athletes who stayed in the competition despite being injured; they were discouraged by the knowledge that their injury already cost them the prize, but they didn’t retreat. There are stories of businessmen who were discouraged by the lack of customers but they didn’t retreat from their business. On the other side of the same coin, there are probably as many examples following the “retreat but never be discouraged” proverb. We have seen many world-class professional athletes who withdrew themselves from the tournament due to their injury; they knew that kept on pushing would destroy their career in the long run. They retreated from the competition but not discouraged to get to the top someday. We have seen many businessmen who started a business, failed, closed it down, then moved on to the next business. They retreated from the business they deemed a failure but not discouraged to run their own business.

There are also many degrees to the verb “to retreat”. For example, an athlete might retreat from a match but not retreat from the goal of being the world’s no.1. Sometimes retreating from short-term goals is a necessity to maintain the more crucial long-term goal. To retreat from a tangible goal is therefore different from the discouragement which bars people from an abstract goal. It is easy to choose which goals could be retreated from, but it is much harder ( and quite against the human nature) to choose which goals to be discouraged from. When we put it like this, “retreat but never be discouraged” seems to get the priority more correctly.

Now that we analysed these concepts closely, it is clear why the words “discouraged” and “retreat” get used interchangeably. Because both of them lead to failure, the ideal proverb should be “never be discouraged and never retreat”; that we must keep pushing forward no matter what and must not lose our determination. But of course, that would be hard in the real life.

It is fine to be discouraged or retreat from time to time when the situation calls.